July 17th - 7:00 p.m. Dinner Party at the Feldman's

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Comment by Joel Feldman on July 27, 2010 at 1:33pm

All the comments are so helpful-all the kindness and love and support. Reflecting back on last weekend and the day of service I thought of the following quote which a rather pukkah young lady named Brooke sent to me several months ago:

George Bernard Shaw - A Splendid Torch

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.


My little Casey Doodle has had such an incredible influence on so many.

Thank you everyone for remembering her.

Comment by Rachael Ceffaratti on July 27, 2010 at 8:27am

Joel, I have been contemplating for many days after I read the words you posted about 525,600 minutes since Casey's passing, on how to respond. As I read the comments that many made with flowing tears, I wondered, what words could I use. Even though I remember many years about Casey, there were also many years that I lost touch and that has hurt me. But now, through her website, I have learned so much about your beautiful daughter that now I can feel that those lost years are now fulfilled with loving thoughts of Casey. As a parent, I could not even begin to imagine what you and Dianne have been through this past year but the fact that you have moved forward allowing all of us who visit the website to get to know the person Casey was. Truly a remarkable person. One that any parent would be so proud to say," she was my child and she brought so much into this world." Casey's spiritual life is full of happiness now as she enjoys the loving touch of God's love for eternity. Casey will always be there for you and you will see her again. She accomplished so much in her short life and what she did to touch the hearts and lives of everyone who knew her, and even those who never met her, will live on forever. When you come to my house you will see a plaque that says, "Don't count the days, make the days count." Casey did just that. Job well done. Much love, Rachael

Comment by Dianne L. Anderson on July 27, 2010 at 12:56am

Thank you all - Joel, Jim, Susan, Alice and Ann Marie for sharing. The love and sentiment brings tears to my eyes.... Many of your commenst should be reprinted somewhere else on this site!

Comment by James Gallagher on July 19, 2010 at 1:02pm

Joel, What a heartwarming, thoughtful, I don't know how to express my words as well as you and Di, and Janice . . . But your words brought understanding to me and even though I cried when I read what you wrote, I was also filled with something that made me feel relaxed and at rest.

I enjoyed spending Saturday with you, Di and the rest of the family and the family of "Casey Volunteers".

Comment by Ann Marie Hinkel on July 16, 2010 at 12:30pm

Hi Dianne and Joel, I will be thinking of you on Saturday and my son Christopher and I will wear our Casey bracelets but we will not be able to come. As I visited with my mother this summer, she would remember and tell us stories of my father and Annie (the woman who also cared for us) and different events throughout her life. All we really have is the love we share for each other, what we did with our time, how we treated each other and our memories with our loved ones. So.. I'm happy that you're keeping your sweet daughter's memory alive with so many who would not necessarily forget but have an opportunity to be present with you and Dianne and to make a difference building great karma.
much love, ann marie

Comment by Susan Crossan on July 16, 2010 at 10:28am

Good Morning Everyone-
Life is full of unanswered questions. Sometimes the answers, if there really are answers, may not ease the pain. As an outsider to your family, I cannot even try to step into your shoes. Your pain often seems endless, but I have witnessed great beauty within your family and amongst your friends. To love deeply makes loss that much more difficult, but I am envious of the love you shared with Casey. I never met Casey, but I know and love her Aunt Janice and family, and feel I am getting to know all of you via this network and the beauty that has blossomed from such a devastating experience. Through this great loss so much has continued in the light and love of your daughter. She's alive in a way that may not satisfy what you wish...to see her, talk to her, hold her and watch her live a life you envisioned. But her spirit is in all that surrounds you...tomorrow many of us , myself included, will go out to do what we have said we would like to do, and help others. Be it an animal, or human, we have been motivated by all Casey is to do better and be better...525,600 minutes...I measure my last year by the richness of it much of it inspired by a beautiful young woman I never met named Casey
Feldman. My thoughts and love are with you all. Susan Crossan

Comment by James Gallagher on July 16, 2010 at 9:31am

Good morning, Joel. Yes, it was a year of new experiences. We saw things a bit differently: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and the family picnics---they were all "firsts." I wasn't quite sure what these family get-togethers would be like and approached them with a smile on my face but with trepidation within. Over that past year, there were indeed many tears and a lot of pain and questions. Anger showed its face many times, and more questions. The "if only" questions were countless as were the "why not me instead of Casey." What Casey experienced haunted me for quite some time. For me, a degree of relief comes from knowing that Casey is experiencing more real joy and more complete happiness than any of us can imagine. Although we might not be happy all the time and although we grieve and feel the pain of our loss, Casey does not feel any of that. As Casey told me in a dream "I am OK!" I believe her.
love,
janice

Comment by ALICE VROOME on July 12, 2010 at 6:20pm

Joel as I read your words I am filled with heartache for you , Dianne and Brett, for your loss and the grief which you live with every day...... but then as I read Casey's web site I am filled with hope and inspiration as I am reminded of all the good you have done this past year. What you have done is nothing short of remarkable.
You have chosen to celebrate Casey's beautiful, compassionate spirit and found a way to keep it alive. You have touched so many lives, many of whom you may never know how. We are all better drivers, pedestrain safety has improved, people are volunteering in greater numbers , and on it goes....your grace and courage have inspired us all to be better and to live life as a remarkable young woman did, and try to make a difference in this world.
You and Dianne have truly made a difference and I am forever thankful and humbled by your example. Casey's spirit lives on through your actions , your love and your hope. God Bless. xxoo

Comment by Joel Feldman on July 12, 2010 at 9:13am

Rent was one of Casey's favorite musicals-Di and I saw it about a month ago-Casey would always sing songs from the show including -"525,600 minutes--How does one measure a year"

Do I measure it by the tears, the pain, the emptiness, the anger and bitterness , the disbelief, the wondering of what Casey thought and felt in those last seconds --tormenting myself over and over again thinking of why Casey -why us-there are so many other 22 year olds and so many other families--why Casey and why us? Continually running through my mind of all that Casey was cheated of and we who loved her were cheated of as well-- Graduation, profession, love , friendship, support, understanding,marriage ,children and the chance to experience all the good and bad that life has to offer-the joy and the tears- and the support of friends and family. All of these are and will be how I measure this past year.

But I also measure the year by the incredible gifts I have received-from Di and Brett and my family(many of us who do not find it easy to share our thoughts and emotions), my friends, Casey's Fordham friends, Springfield friends, those extended families , the Colorado family, all those who have joined the network and continue to join and the countless strangers who have and continue to reach out to me after learning of my loss. All of the gifts I receive--seeing a pink bumper magnet on a car whose driver I do not recognize, receiving a kind and caring note, hearing a new Casey story, a because of Casey I will or a because of Casey I have and seeing another pink tree. Knowing that so many are thinking of us and Casey and so many will keep Casey's memory alive through words and deeds-- realizing that we can and we have collectively make the roadways a little safer for all of us, that we can and we have helped others perform acts of service, that we can and we have reached out to those less fortunate, provided greater comfort to those who are suffering losses -care more for people and animals-and have been better friends ,family members and people as a result of our tragedy. So the tears still come and go, the questions of why linger and may never be answered but there is much hope and promise and joy and love and some laughter as I look forward to the next 525,600 minutes and all the millions of minutes after... that "Casey's family" has to live life more fully, richly and generously .

Comment by Callie Fisher on July 12, 2010 at 2:54am

I really wish I could go. I won't be back in NYC until late August. Miss you all and will definitely be thinking of you on the 17th.

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